Today

Today is not a good day. A lot of thoughts that are bugging me and I know when Nick gets home he is going to ask what's wrong. If I say nothing he will keep poking, but if I tell him he will get mad, upset, and then feel bad because he doesn't know what to do. I was suppose to go to the doctor today but I canceled it because I was told we had to go to the bank to talk to the loan advisor about a mortgage. My appointment was at 430 the bank closes at 5. So I thought it would be best. So I tell Nick and next thing I know I'm getting yelled at for canceling it, and being told that I will be doing all the driving from now on. That all pissed me off. There was no way to know for sure if we would get out of the doctors in time. Yes, he could have gone to the bank and I to the doctor but we both had to be at the bank. Then for him to say I will be doing all the driving from now on when he knows I can't. I get panic attacks when I drive so I chose not to drive. For now, it's fine I don't have a job or go anywhere during the day while Nick is at work and anywhere I go in the evening Nick goes. So I feel like yelling and crying but all that would do is make things worse. Because I would say something else that would piss him off and it would get worse from there until one of us gives in. 


Of course, I could just be over emotionally today. It wouldn't surprise me. I've had my period for two weeks now and that alone makes me want to cry and yell. I think I just need a vacation.